January is that time of year that many people choose to start going to the gym, to quit smoking, to try to be more caring or to be more orderly…
This is wonderful, people who try to overcome themselves and who believe that this time yes! The only problem with their purposes is that we often forget them before the end of January.
It would be desirable that the motivating illusion to change kept it throughout the year, it does not have to be every day, there are days that we are not to move mountains, but when these days pass, then we have to recover the thrust. Most of the changes do not require any psychologist to help us, we only need to take into account very simple guidelines to succeed:
-Propose a single objective at the same time
-Make it concrete and realistic
-That it is persistent when putting it into practice
-Check if it works or not
-If it does not work, I have to go back to the first point over and over again
Why do we repeatedly fail if it's so easy? It is often a combination of several factors. First of all, very few people set specific and realistic goals, sometimes they are not realistic because we do not have the mental time for them. Other people take the fallacy of change and start with four or more simultaneous changes. Persistence often falls for not believing in our ability to change or to begin to doubt the goal itself. And finally, when it becomes clear that we have not achieved what we have proposed, all the enthusiasm falls, the faith in itself and the push to continue fade.
The truth is that the processes of change are long for everyone, it is strange that something that has resisted us for years, suddenly we achieve it. It is not that it is very complicated, but that our lives are very loaded with small tasks and multiple distractions, not losing focus and persisting demands stubbornness.
I want to share with you a reflection in relation to personal changes, we dedicate much less time and dedication than to work, studies and other responsibilities imposed externally. If our boss told us that to collect the month of February we must be all month without smoking, I have no doubt that a huge majority would get it. We work hard for others and little for ourselves.
Finally, I will give you an example of your own that is not too intimate: doing physical exercise. For me it was more or less easy when I was a few years younger and I didn't have my son, now I have less time and to exercise it takes more ingenuity and decision. What works best for me is when I associate exercise to another activity that for me is more enjoying: if I exercise alone at home I take the opportunity to put on music; to exercise abroad it is good for me to stay with a friend or even propose it to the groups of social activities that I have now as part of my professional activity.
You will find success in stubbornness and error testing. Never get tired of investing in yourself!